Fooling Nobody

Fooling Nobody. 1968.

I found this picture years ago in a book titled The Secret Art of Dr. Suess and it’s been hanging at my desk as inspiration ever since.

You see, I’m on a journey to be real.

To keep it real.

To tell the truth.

It turns out, telling the truth is hardest when I have to tell it to myself.

This is an online journal where my truth telling has the potential to be public (if someone other than me reads this, then it’s public). When I tell the truth to someone other than myself, I’m held to it. I like that. I like being called on my shit - it’s one of the reasons I have a life coach and also one of the reasons I practice yoga. 

They’re revealing. 

Layers peel away at times with ease, and other times with work. 

It took me years to uncover that the vision I had of myself as an Advertising Executive wasn’t one that I wanted. I had convinced myself however, for 10 years, that that was my path. I was going to make great ads, crack the toughest briefs, and that I would find it fulfilling. The idea of that being a lie scared me. Sure I made decent coin but I went home miserable 5 out of 7 days a week (on a good week). I was fearful to go on and live a life doing something I no longer wanted. I was fearful that I had wasted the past 10 years. I was fearful of change, because I didn’t know what was next. 

But when I opened to the truth, I knew I couldn’t stay. I found my new path only by telling the truth again and again.

This new path is moving in the right direction - I don’t just believe it, I feel it. It wasn’t wrong before, but it also wasn’t life affirming. 

I look forward to what’s ahead and what might kick dust up next. My path carries no promise of a destination; things are constantly changing, unfolding, enfolding and evolving.

I’ve come to terms with not knowing the way, or finding mastery (in most cases). Instead, I like to think it’s about finding an edge. A place where I can keep it real a whole lot easier and in turn, follow my heart’s desires. This place encourages me to embody consciousness a little deeper every day.

I no longer want to fool anyone, including myself.

Who are you fooling?