9.5 weeks old.

The truth of this week is that the ‪postpartum‬ ‪‎monster‬ has bit me and damn it, I'm not immune. The heat wave has us indoors more than I'd like and she caught her first cold (don't even get me started on the ‪‎heartbreak‬ of her first cold!) - bringing the lack of sleep to a whole new level.

These moments, this Mothering, is a complete identity shift. I'm redefining myself (or she's redefining me) and I HAVE TO LET GO of certain things... And I'm grieving them. There is death in this ‪‎Mothering‬ process and it's uncomfortable. I'm watching it with curiosity, seeing what parts of me I'm attached to and others I can more willingly let go of. Sometimes there's relief but sometimes there's a whole lot of tears. A wise friend recently said to me: "‪Motherhood‬ is the most ‪joy‬ and the most shit (literally) all balled up together."


So here we go, approaching amother (another) new day as a new me. She's pretty new too so we understand each other on that front. And then, she gifts me ‪‎moments‬ like this one that remind me we're going to be just fine. 

8 weeks and 5 days old.

8 weeks and 5 days old. Imagine you could start over. From scratch. And feel, live and teach the biggest love, the most compassion, and a way of living that considers not just yourself, but everyone and everything around you. It feels sorta like a second chance... But this time it really matters. That's what Motherhood feels like.